Podcast: 10 Killer Ways to Boost Your Confidence
Episode 2: 10 Killer Ways to Boost Your Confidence
Every man, whether he’s super successful or the fry cook at the local fast food joint, wants to have more confidence. Often, they’re looking for some way to get an edge and stand out in a crowd… for all the right reasons. In this show, I’m going introduce you to my 10 killer ways to boost your confidence without spinning your wheels. No gimmicks, no products to buy, no audio programs to download and listen to every night. This is straight-up, no filler.
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Today’s show is about confidence. Everyone, regardless of his or her upbringing, is looking for more confidence. Oftentimes, this is accomplished by having a command of something. For example, salespeople that have a command when it comes to communication are often better in sales because of it, and because that command gives them more confidence. Confidence can make improbable things happen.
To help you get your confidence building machine fired up, here are 10 killer ways to boost your confidence.
Dress Like You Give a Damn
This will always be a recurring topic at The Sharp Gentleman because, let’s face it, dressing like you give a damn makes an immediate statement. When you look good, and I mean, you look in the mirror in the morning and hear your brain say things like, “damn Larry, you look like you’re about to take over a company,” you know you’re going to have an incredible day. Women talk about how great their day turns out if they have a really good hair day in the morning, right? Same concept. Dress up because you’ll show up better. You’ll receive compliments and comments and they will make you feel like you’re on top of your game.
Speak Up Constantly / Consistently
The world needs fewer flies on the wall. If you’re a guy that doesn’t have a lot of confidence, you probably don’t speak up very often, right? That’s a step in the wrong direction. Make your presence known and your voice heard as often as you possibly can. It doesn’t have to be gregarious or loud, but your input tells people you’re in the room. Speak up at meetings with questions or comments. Compliment people throughout the day. Build that confidence muscle!
You’ll start getting noticed and, more importantly, you’ll start getting feedback. They truest way to build confidence is to consistently receive positive feedback. No matter who you are or what side of the tracks you call home, if you step up and receive positive feedback and comments every day, it won’t be long before your confidence is palpable. Start small if this feels difficult. Just engage and let people notice your presence. Acknowledgement goes a long way, my friend.
Stop Putting People Above You
This is one of my favorites, truly. You’ll have to listen to the podcast to hear the story of why, but the main takeaway here is that your decision to put people on a pedestal is a disservice to you and your intentions. Everyone is equal and nobody is above or below you. Yes, you need to be respectful of everyone, and certainly people above your pay grade (if that interaction can influence your pay grade), but that doesn’t mean you are less than they are.
In every interaction, we compare ourselves to others. We’re not as good looking or successful or loaded or talented or – it’s all bullshit. At the end of the day, we all struggle with the same demons. The only variation is the level at which we struggle with those demons. The guy with the hot girlfriend may argue with her just the same as you do with (what you believe is) your less hot girlfriend. Nobody’s perfect so stop painting them so. You will immediately feel better once you stop putting everyone above you.
Take a Personal Inventory
Taking a personal inventory is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself and your person record of success. I invite you to make a list of all the victories you’ve had in your life. These can be things you’ve accomplished, ways you’ve grown, dates you’ve scored, things you’ve learned, etc. List out your history of wins.
More than just accomplishments, focus on the ways you’ve grown as a man over the years. A great example of that is by connecting the emotional state to the task. For example, “I built the garage out back with just my friends and our tools” is powerful because you can feel that sense of pride and adult-ness. You built a damn building! That’s awesome. An even bigger one includes, “I married the woman of my dreams.” Powerful. Boom. Confidence builder on steroids, right there.
Practice Eye Contact
The most important word here is PRACTICE. Anyone that tells you eye contact is a piece of cake is clearly not a shy person. He or she already radiates the confidence you’re trying to acquire. For the shy guys, this is a skill you can develop through practice. When you make direct eye contact, you meet the other person where they are, and truthfully, direct, prolonged eye contact is pretty intimate. It can almost feel uncomfortable. It’s powerful, and you will get more out of life when you use it, so develop it.
Start with small things to build easy wins. Make eye contact with the barista at the coffee shop. Make eye contact with the burrito ninjas at Chipotle as you order. Make eye contact with that woman you see every morning on the train/break room/7-11, etc. Start with just a few seconds of eye contact while you’re speaking and while you’re listening. They are two different sensations, and both are important. You can do it.
Declare Your Intention – What Are You Pursuing?
What the hell are you pursuing? What are you trying to accomplish? If your entire life is setup to follow the “get safe job, work until dead,” then you don’t really need confidence. You just need safety. The honest truth is most humans yearn for so much more. Well, damn it, declare what you’re yearning for! Write out your goals, especially the big one you aren’t sure will ever happen. Make certain of what what you’re striving for, and declare it aloud every morning.
A great example of this is people that had 3 and 4 jobs at the same time before they made it big. They may be the CEO of their own multi-million dollar company now, but they worked 100 hours a week at four different jobs before it. Why? How could they handle it? They knew the big picture and the big goal they were shooting for, and they were willing to do whatever it took to get there.
When you’re working a job you hate, see it as a temporary gig along your path to building your empire. When you launch your own company, you’re often doing it on the side. You work a full time j.o.b. and grow your little passion on nights and weekends until it becomes big enough to replace the full time gig. When you go to your job, you stay positive and confident (even if you hate that job and want to do your side gig) because you believe the job is just a stepping stone to building you bigger. Declaring your intention, defining your goals, and writing them down will have a dramatic effect on your confidence.
Develop Your Plan of Attack
This directly ties into the previous ways to boost your confidence. When you have a plan, you feel far less rattled when things happen. It’s like having a to-do list that’s mapped out perfectly. As in the above example, you have a plan to work a certain amount of hours and a certain amount of jobs so you can devote more time to your passion with the plan of getting out of those jobs in a certain time. To be far less vague, here’s a real-world example:
“I’m going to but my ass at ABC company and earn that bonus so I can invest it into my own passion and get out of there by next year. It’s just a matter of time before I make it happen.”
Having a plan of attack creates a sense of ease instead of anxiety. Think about traveling to get a better sense of what I’m talking about. Few people (myself included) can travel without a plan. I need to know where I’m going, when I plan to get there, what’s waiting for me there, what my schedule looks like, etc. That order creates calm, and in that calm, I can focus on other things. When you have a plan, all you need to do is follow it onto victory.
Get Educated – Acquire New Skills
One of the easiest ways to expand yourself, your confidence, and your skill-set is to get educated. This doesn’t have to mean a college degree or more, it can be as simply as learning how to sail, or play piano, or replace a window in your home, or replace head gaskets on a Buick. When you acquire new skills, your curiosity helps increase your understanding and command of it, which leads you to be more confident in it, which leads you to be more confident overall. Ever notice how those guys that are Jack of All Trades are always noticeably more confident? The more skills and experience they acquire, the more confident they become.
So go learn something, Jack!
Break a Sweat
More than just being good for your health, working out is good for your confidence. When you take care of your body, you spend time and effort working on you. Building confidence is about working on you, right? Indeed it is. Working out helps to burn calories, tone up, build muscle, change your endurance, and give you little victories. Think about it, few men go to the gym to do the same routine with the same weights or time doing cardio without improvement, right?
If you’ve been going to the gym for years and haven’t ever increased the amount of weight you’re lifting or the speed or distance you’re running on the machines, you’re doing it wrong. I like to run, so I’ll run the same 3 miles I usually do, but I like watching my speed increase and my time decrease. I also like feeling my endurance improve over time and watch as I accomplish 4, 5, and 6 mile distances with the same ease I had doing 3. So go break a sweat and work on you.
Spread Compliments like Wildfire
By far, the best way to get positive feedback and build confidence is by spreading compliments. People notice when you’re complimentary. Acknowledging others and complimenting them will leave such a lasting impression. You’ll receive much more attention and feedback for all the right reasons, and you’ll feel good about it because you’re noticing the best in others. A guy with genuine kindness and sincerity that spreads compliments around like cookies at a bake sale will see a return of 10-fold in no time.
You reap what you sow. Sow some goodness and you’ll reap confidence every day.
What are YOUR best ways to boost confidence? What do you do to kick it into high gear
when you need a little boost? Share them in the comments below so we can connect.