Gentlemen, Valentine’s Day is upon us. Interestingly, this Hallmark Holiday is quite polarizing too. People either love it or hate it. There’s very little grey area. The reasons are pretty equal on each side of the argument: My wife and I are a good example of opposites attracting. I’m a hopeless romantic and she’s much more practical. I’ll plan grand gestures of romance, cloaked in secrecy for surprise, and deliver a symphony of Kodak moments we’ll cherish forever. It’s all orchestrated for my own satisfaction.
One of the hardest transitions in life happens after you become an adult. It isn’t a new job or new apartment of your own. It’s bigger than that. It’s moving from being someone’s son to someone’s husband, and for many men, becoming a father. You suddenly take on a new role and leave the old, kid-version of you behind. When you grow up and venture off to carve your own path, you leave behind those that spent your entire life to that point, carving a
One of the things that we all strive to be is dependable as men. We want to be strong providers and trusted unconditionally. We want to be honorable men, even if many of us aren’t exactly sure what that means. We like, and often romanticize the Gentleman’s Agreement. When we are told something is going to happen, we want to believe it. We like the idea that “he’s a man of his word,” and “he’s a good man, he’ll come through.” You want to be
In a year from now, you’ll wish you started today. When I want to have the best year ever, I look at this quote. This is one of my favorite quotes because it keeps me focused on what I’m committing to when I procrastinate. Every time I say no to getting up and getting out there, I’m saying yes to missed opportunities; yes to broken promises to myself; yes to feeling overwhelmed later when I feel like I haven’t gotten anything done; yes to excuses
Integrity Through Distractions Temptation is everywhere, gentlemen. You can be driving to the gym, ready to hit it hard, and find yourself in the Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru a moment later… if you give into the temptation. Integrity through distractions, right? Distractions are even more prevalent. Distractions are temptations disguised as noise. You may not feel that temptation is the right word, but when you see the Facebook notifications on your phone, it’s difficult to resist the temptation to pause what you’re doing and check
This time, Ego IS the answer. For many of us, happiness and contentment are synonymous. We reach a moderate level of success, while secretly wishing we could do (fill-in the blank). Most of the time, that one thing we wish were doing professionally –instead of what we’re currently doing– is in a completely unrelated field. It is our fear of switching gears and venturing out into the unknown that keeps us in our safe place –our regular job, regular pay, regular, predictable life. Until one
Haste makes waste, gentlemen. In today’s modern society of what I like to call Throwaway Ideals, it can be difficult to see yourself finishing anything all the way. Most of us are too easily conditioned to cut and run when the going gets tough because there’s opportunity and alternatives abound. We start a lot of projects, chase a lot of ideas, and break ground on new endeavors… but we rush through the motions so quickly that we often miss details, and cause things to derail.
Breaking up is hard to do. At the same time, staying in a relationship that doesn’t serve either party is also hard to do. Unfortunately, we are willing to do more of the latter that we are of the former, and that’s a disservice to ourselves and each other. Look, it sucks to break up, but it also sucks to be in an unhappy relationship. A fair amount of my clients (and emails I receive) ask what they should do to exit their unfulfilling relationships.
We’ve all heard, in some form or another, the old adage that “you have to hit rock bottom before you can truly change.” In the case of my friend Jan, his rock bottom was a nervous breakdown due to the compounding stress of being an employee, a student, and a man in his 20s trying to figure things out. It turns out, some men aren’t built to be employees, while others aren’t built to be entrepreneurs. When you’re the latter, you see the risks, the
Gentlemen, while we all love (or try to) what we do professionally, we need to be aware of the changing economic climate and come up with a different exit strategy. Gone are the days of working for a company right out of high school, being paid well, promoting to the top, and retiring comfortably with a pension and benefits at 65. Nowadays, people are changing careers more than ever, and realizing that job security isn’t something you can rely on, you can take action now