A.K.A. – What to do when you feel stuck.

With New Year’s Resolutions in full swing, I know a lot of us, myself included, can often feel like we’re not going to make it happen. We’re simply not strong enough to keep up with the willpower necessary to make that big change. We feel stuck… even nine days into the new year.

Sometimes it just takes a few quick things to turn it around for me – the same can be true for you. More often than not, you just need a little perspective reminder of where you are, and how much you’ve actually done. More importantly, it is an opportunity to be authentic, and notice all the roles you play, the things you do, and who you are in your life.

Gentlemen, this is paramount for you because you often take on more than your fair share (you’re the hero, right) and you discount your actions.

Whenever you feel like all your efforts are not making enough change happen, or not happen fast enough, take a few moments to pause. That pause will help you get it together before you decide to throw in the towel. In today’s article and episode, I’ll walk you through five secrets to restoring your momentum when you’re stuck. Hopefully they illustrate what to do when you feel stuck, and get you back in gear and back on track. It’s never too late to get focused and few things are actually lost causes.

[remember to Subscribe Here]

Show Notes:

1 – Take a personal inventory

Take a real inventory of your strengths, connections, and all the things you do. Sometimes we lose track of how amazing we are, and we get stuck in the everyday cycle of negativity. People project what they don’t like about themselves into the world, and we all know that can bring us down. Take a look at the people in your life that find something bad to say about everything. They’re pretty exhausting, right? Take time to remember how powerful you are by WRITING DOWN your strengths. Remember, you are powerful, but you’re also forgetful.

Think about all the things you’ve made happen over the last, say two years. I mean, really name them. How many of these things were done even though you didn’t think you could? Even more powerful, if you’re a father, think about that for a second.

My brother in law is a dad of twin 3 year-old girls. I’m positive, he didn’t think he would have this much fun raising twin girls… but he is. That’s a huge thing! Dads need to take an inventory of the stuff they’ve done for their kids, but more importantly, WHO they’ve shown up as for them.

Dads, you’re showing up as leaders, lovers, rulers, chauffeurs, dates to dances, cooks, adventurers, storytellers – examples of what good men are and should be for your kids, right? If you’re not sure, ask those around you to tell you the kind of father you are.

Your personal inventory helps get you focused on your positive track record when the task at hand seems daunting or impossible. It’s a quick way to get clarity when you don’t know what to do when you feel stuck. Take an inventory any time you like – every time you get stuck and think, “I can’t do this.”

2 – Declare your desire

This seems so easy, but very few people actually do the work.  To get what you want, you have to know what you want. Do you KNOW what you want? I mean, really know what you want? Along with not making any assumptions of other people, don’t make assumptions about life. Declare what you want, set your intention, and start asking questions so you can make it happen.

This is a big deal because too many of you are giving up on fulfillment. You’re working for happy or content, but you’re selling yourself short if you don’t go for true fulfillment. Life isn’t about mediocrity, my friends. It’s about actually getting what you want. It’s about waking up with a “hell yes” attitude because your like is friggin’ amazing.

You want to be fulfilled – brimming over with pride for your achievements, experiences, and relationships. It’s easy to have a kick-ass life when you seek fulfillment and not contentment, safety, or simple achievement. Declare what you really, truly want, and go for it.

3 – Eliminate HOW from your vocabulary

From this moment on, don’t ask how anymore. Ask What.

As I’ve mentioned in other posts and episodes, eliminating how has a dramatic effect on your success percentages. How is a left-brain question, and What, When, Where, Who, and Why are all right-brain questions.

When you ask how, your left brain fires off probabilities, statistics from your past, and the chances of your success based on what it calculates about you.

When you ask the other 5 questions, the right brain fires off creative responses. You want to stay in the creative space if you want to actually get things done.

“How am I going to get this done?” – This makes you worry about the distance between you and your goal.

“What’s it going to take to get this done?” – This makes you focus on what you have and CAN do.

People spend so much time thinking about how far they have to go to reach success. They struggle, but the distance stays the same. It’s discouraging. When you change your words to only think about what it will take, what it will feel like, and what you want, you focus on a different energy and you make it happen. Try it for yourself!

4 – Quit working and daydream

This one is so important. Dreamers are the magic-makers of the world. Dream big. Dream often. Dream and feel what it’s like to have what you want. Really visualize and experience the sensation of having, being, or doing that big lofty goal you want. When you dream and experience what it’s like to have that sensation in your body, you begin to make that happen in your life. Innovators know this because they dream of solutions and try to envision what it feels like, smells like, tastes like – every detail so they can then get creative and build it.

Your brain doesn’t know time. Chemically, it cannot discern between fact or fiction, dreaming or reality. When you daydream and get fired up about something, your brain fires off chemicals in response to that being its reality. Whenever you watch an action, thriller, or horror film, your brain fires chemicals based on what you’re visualizing.

Even though you know it’s just a movie, your brain and body are still working like it’s real life! So rather than wallowing in pity because you’re stuck and have no momentum, refocus on what you want, stop working, and spend some time daydreaming so your brain winds up and fires your ambition and desire back into high gear. This is what to do when you feel stuck, my friend.

5 – Embrace an attitude of gratitude

Give thanks for the opportunities, people, experiences, and things you have in your life now. Gratitude creates a feeling of peace and love in your heart. This vibration sets into motion more great things to be grateful for. Life gets better and easier when you start appreciating the life you have… even when it’s hard.

Look, willpower is an amazing thing, but is often elusive and hard to train in captivity. Willpower is attracted to confidence, clarity, and conviction. If you’ve got a goal and you declare it to the world, but don’t really feel like it’s big enough, willpower won’t show up because it’s just as bored with that goal as you are.

Set the big, hairy, audacious goal and connect withe people, places, and things you need to in order to make it happen. Be confident in what this goal means to you. Hold a clear picture in your mind (and on paper) of what this goal looks like when it’s accomplished. And, most importantly, make certain that you aren’t going to let anything stop you because you want it badly enough. That type of conviction is infectious and will get everyone around you supporting your effort.

That’s when willpower shows up, and after some consistent action, Big Mo’ (momentum) shows up too. When you have the trifecta of achievement (plan + willpower + momentum) on your side, you’re unstoppable. Now you know what to do when you feel stuck. Isn’t that better? Now go out there and make it happen!

What do you do when you feel stuck? Are there any techniques you use to get back on track?
Share in the comments below so we can connect!