Before we go any further, this is not an article about one car brand being better than another. It’s also not a grudge match between new and old. It’s far less trivial, less ego-driven, and deeper. Regardless of what you currently drive, there’s one truth that speaks volumes about you, regarding that car, that you need to know. It’s what you car says about you…

Yesterday, I decided that it was a good day to clean my car. I keep mine relatively clean all the time anyway because I was raised that way, but I find the act of washing and vacuuming it very relaxing. I pulled it out of the garage, got my bucket, and got to work. I had just finished the wheels when my niece came over to hang out with us. She’s 15 and as much as I’m trying to convince her that boys are gross, I know it’s a lost cause. I’ll explain that in a second. I keep telling her that she can start dating when she’s 25. Jami and I can’t imagine any boy being good enough, but c’est la vie.

She asked me why I was cleaning the car with such detail. Because it was more than just a wash and rinse, I knew she was talking about the vacuum, the brushes, and the conditioner bottle. That’s when I told her the honest truth about men and their cars:

The way a man treats his car shows how he treats his life… and his relationships.

The honest truth about what you drive reflects more in how you take care of it, rather than the make, model, or year. I’ve seen stunning S-Class Mercs that are so badly treated, I have trouble respecting the driver. I’ve also seen 20 year old Hondas that look like they’re right off the showroom floor. That’s dedication.

The point is, what your car says about you is more than just how wealthy you are. It showcases your values, commitment, cleanliness, and whether or not you take care of things in your life. So I gave her two big reasons why she should pay attention to the cars those boys in her life are driving:

Messy cars mean messy lives

If you’ve ever seen the show Hoarders, you know the sensation that shudders through your bones when the cameras first reveal the mess in the subject’s home. You immediately judge that he or she must have a lot of mental issues, and you’re so glad nobody in your life is like that, right? You would never date someone like that.* This is how people judge. When your car is messy, especially inside, people decide you have issues, and you’re not someone with whom they’d like to get involved. You might even disgust them.

The truth here is that women look at these as indicators of character. What else in his life is a complete mess? Does he pick up after himself? Does he know how to take care of himself? Could he take care of me? The unfortunate truth here is that messy cars mean messy lives. It certainly doesn’t have to be spotless, but fast-food bags, garbage, empty bottles of water or soda – yeah, that stuff needs to go.

*note: hoarding is a psychological disorder, and those suffering through it do, in fact, deserve love. I am by no means declaring that people who hoard are unworthy or second-class citizens. I have a background in psychology and hypnotherapy, and understand the weight of the disorder on those affected and afflicted.

Ignorance is inexcusable

A man that takes poor care of his car will subsequently take poor care of his relationships. Cars these days are equipped with a plethora of safety features, warning lights, and idiot-proof technology so humans are only left with the simple task of paying attention. The car will tell you when the tires are low on air. It will tell you when to change the oil. It will tell you when something is wrong. Your job is to listen.

A man that cannot take of his car because he “doesn’t know anything about cars” is full of shit. A man that doesn’t know how to put a new roof on his home, wouldn’t simply sit around while it leaks on him and complain that he hasn’t done anything because he “doesn’t know anything about roofing.” He would call a contractor or roofing company. You would too.

In relationships, you truly don’t know anything about the other person when you first get together. You’re always paying attention and learning something. That’s how you build a good relationship. If you stop listening and learning, that relationship will fall apart. So gentlemen, your ignorance is inexcusable. If you can’t be bothered to pay attention to warning lights on your dash, women wonder if you’ll pay attention to their warning signs in your life… or at all. Don’t be that guy.

I’ve also had this argument with other men. They feel that they’re still good, attentive husbands even though their cars and homes are neglected. That may very well be true. There are exceptions to every rule. But rather than working to be the exception, just take care of the important things in your life. In this case, the rule is better than the exception.

My niece is going to date a few boys before she gets it right, and as much as it pains us to think about that, we’re hoping we can instill in her a few good core concepts so she knows what to look for. A boy that takes good care of himself, his things, and the people in his life is a good start in my book.

And to the select few with rather new S-class Mercedes with brake dust caked onto the wheels… what the hell is wrong with you? You’re driving around in a $140k car and you can’t be bothered to get a car wash? You worked hard to make that mortgage- err, car payment… clean your damn wheels.

What are your thoughts? Do you feel like the condition of your car (or your potential mate’s car) is a factor in your decision to get involved with them? Share in the comments!

P.S. Here are a few shots of my 2004 Lexus with 130k on it. Whether I own a brand new Bimmer or a 1995 Oldsmobile, it’s still going to be clean and well-maintained. Besides being a gentlemanly thing to do, it also reduces headaches over the long-run because everything is so well cared-for.